Mile 22 is a vehicle for Mark Wahlberg--but it's a derivative, idiotic, and honestly bananas "film" that makes very little coherent sense. Marky Mark's character is some high functioning "gifted" "on the spectrum" low-rent version of Affleck in The Accountant crossed with an attempt to be John Wick or Jason Bourne, who knows, but he monologues a LOT and basically leaves testosterone everywhere on the screen. #yawn. He's accompanied into the "ops" by Lauren Cohan from The Walking Dead, Rhonda Rousey and another guy who gets killed. They are a super-secretive CIA black ops group that goes around murdering "hostiles" so that they can find some codes that will stop the world from ending. Whatever. #yawn. I can barely function casting sentences for this nonsense. The plot: some random cop has the codes to the key that opens the files that tells them where the nuclear material is, it's all time sensitive, and he wants to be extracted to the US. The plane to take him to the US is 22 miles away, and THAT'S THE ENTIRE MOVIE.
1. The movie is so insanely edited that it's really hard to tell what's going on. It's basically screaming, fighting, shooting, yelling, bad overdubbing dialogue, totally bonkers action scenes and lots of really useless deaths.
2. Of course the female character has a child (because you know you go into black ops when you're a mother, I mean, awesome life choices) and an angry ex-husband because #yawn
3. Mark Mark lets every on his team die for "duty" but then goes back for Lauren Cohan's character, complaining the whole time that he has to, all the while she's struggling to help some random hallway child, because, of course there's a random child in the hallway.
4. There's an honest-to-goodness voiceover that explains the team suffers from "extreme patriotism" like that's a thing.
5. This "everyday cop" they're trying to protect and extract has amazing fighting moves and is both stealth and insane when it comes to self-protection so I'm sure HE'S telling the truth. I mean why set up an entire operation without doing ANY kind of due diligence except for a lame lie detector test because that's realistic in terms of espionage.
6. Instead of, oh, I don't know, waiting for the cover of night or finding alternative ways to move the guy, they bust out in broad daylight and massive carnage happens. Many, many people die.
7. Shame on you Bourne for starting the whole "voiceover while running an ops" narrative where there's all kinds of background nonsense that makes no sense.
8. Many, many more people die.
9. Everything is blamed on "the Russians."
10. There's a twist. It's so stupid.
11. Did I mention that many, many people die?
12. John Malkovich plays a character called "mother" who runs the operations from some secret hideout only he's never in the office so WHAT IS HIS JOB?
13. Marky Mark does A LOT of yelling. Then more people die. Then they get the guy on the plane. And then some batch*t crazy sh*t happens and the ending is ambiguous. Why? WHY?
14. The movie made no money and therefore there's no reason for a sequel to explain the ambiguous ending.
This was the stupidest movie I've seen in a long, long time. Shame on you Peter Berg. Shame. On. You.
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