I've Got 99 Cents & 1,000 Words

Thinking about the best way to get back into some sort of regular writing routine, I mean, it's been years, and trying to find a way to talk about the parts of pop culture that I love--books (also culture, culture), movies, and television, I've got a challenge for myself this year.

#1. Watch the Apple $0.99 cent movie of the week and then write a review. Maximum length: 1,000 words.

#2. If it's based on a book, read the book first. If it's a sequel, no need to have watched the previous films, and...

#3. Don't put a time limit on your reviews. One week I might write three reviews, I might go a month without writing any (and probably forget the film once I get there... mom brain).

#4. Try not to cloud my judgement by watching OTHER movies that week...

And see what happens. Are they good? Do they roughly appeal to my demographic? What themes appear? Will I care by the end of the year, probably not, and I'll probably give up halfway through, but it's a start.

Here we go.

Comments

Movie #7 - Life Itself

I procrastinated watching this movie because emotional manipulation isn't high on my list of things to do for a Tuesday evening. And Life Itself purports itself to be "sensitive" and "poignant" but really it's essentially misery porn, and I am not down for it. In short, it's a story with no realistic timeline, characters being needlessly killed as a means to develop the "plot," and all driving to a maudlin ending where we're supposed to feel like all the needless tragedy turns itself around because "things happen for a reason." It's also punctuated by some of the worst writing I've ever come across in film, but that's besides the point as you're already so defeated by all of the "shocking" deaths and ridiculous coincidences that inevitably land the story in exactly the place where Fogelman wants it to be, and I don't understand if there's a point other than to be wholly and completely co...

Movie #2 - Deadpool 2

I'm falling a bit behind these last couple weeks. Week #2 was Deadpool 2 , which is solid, enjoyable and fun, and so meta . I hate using that word. I'm sorry. The story picks up shortly after the first movie ended, with Wade Wilson reunited with his love, Vanessa (Morena Baccarin), and (spoilers, but come on the movie's been out for months, if you haven't see it, you can't blame me at this point) they're looking to start a family. So, of course, something terrible happens to Vanessa (she's shot by some bad guys), and that sets up the plot for the balance of the movie. It's Bourne Revenge meets Guy Whose In Mourning and (yawn) this kicks off some bad decisions on Wade's part--despite his being forced into attempting to deal with his feelings by the metal man, Colossus (I know, comic books). Here's the thing. The movie is fun. The movie is desperately entertaining. Ryan Reynolds is legitimately hilarious. But, meh. Do you know what's f...

Movie #5 - The Happytime Murders

Straight talk today. I watched fourteen minutes of this movie and turned it off. I barely made it passed a puppet cow prostrate while an octopus "milked it" in a shady puppet "pr0n" house. I'm becoming very disappointed in the movie selections so far, and wanted to go back to watching Happy Valley , but I'd binged both seasons last week and therefore have no more of it to return to. Sure, entertainment needs highs and lows, but the kind of sexist, formulaic nonsensical, stereotypical storytelling that I found in the first ten minutes of Happytime Murders made me simply sad. The characteristics of noir aside, the issue with the premise of this movie is that it's just out of date, out of touch and juvenile. Let's count the stereotypes, shall we? Ball-busting female detective, check. Sex-addicted femme fatale, check. Down on his luck PI, check. The police sergeant who doesn't actually have a clue, check. The wise-cracking secretary, check. And on...

Worth A Thousand Words

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