I've Got 99 Cents & 1,000 Words

Thinking about the best way to get back into some sort of regular writing routine, I mean, it's been years, and trying to find a way to talk about the parts of pop culture that I love--books (also culture, culture), movies, and television, I've got a challenge for myself this year.

#1. Watch the Apple $0.99 cent movie of the week and then write a review. Maximum length: 1,000 words.

#2. If it's based on a book, read the book first. If it's a sequel, no need to have watched the previous films, and...

#3. Don't put a time limit on your reviews. One week I might write three reviews, I might go a month without writing any (and probably forget the film once I get there... mom brain).

#4. Try not to cloud my judgement by watching OTHER movies that week...

And see what happens. Are they good? Do they roughly appeal to my demographic? What themes appear? Will I care by the end of the year, probably not, and I'll probably give up halfway through, but it's a start.

Here we go.

Comments

Movie #2 - Deadpool 2

I'm falling a bit behind these last couple weeks. Week #2 was Deadpool 2 , which is solid, enjoyable and fun, and so meta . I hate using that word. I'm sorry. The story picks up shortly after the first movie ended, with Wade Wilson reunited with his love, Vanessa (Morena Baccarin), and (spoilers, but come on the movie's been out for months, if you haven't see it, you can't blame me at this point) they're looking to start a family. So, of course, something terrible happens to Vanessa (she's shot by some bad guys), and that sets up the plot for the balance of the movie. It's Bourne Revenge meets Guy Whose In Mourning and (yawn) this kicks off some bad decisions on Wade's part--despite his being forced into attempting to deal with his feelings by the metal man, Colossus (I know, comic books). Here's the thing. The movie is fun. The movie is desperately entertaining. Ryan Reynolds is legitimately hilarious. But, meh. Do you know what's f...

Movie #5 - The Happytime Murders

Straight talk today. I watched fourteen minutes of this movie and turned it off. I barely made it passed a puppet cow prostrate while an octopus "milked it" in a shady puppet "pr0n" house. I'm becoming very disappointed in the movie selections so far, and wanted to go back to watching Happy Valley , but I'd binged both seasons last week and therefore have no more of it to return to. Sure, entertainment needs highs and lows, but the kind of sexist, formulaic nonsensical, stereotypical storytelling that I found in the first ten minutes of Happytime Murders made me simply sad. The characteristics of noir aside, the issue with the premise of this movie is that it's just out of date, out of touch and juvenile. Let's count the stereotypes, shall we? Ball-busting female detective, check. Sex-addicted femme fatale, check. Down on his luck PI, check. The police sergeant who doesn't actually have a clue, check. The wise-cracking secretary, check. And on...

Movie #1 - Tag

Honestly, what to say about Tag , directed by some guy whose other notable IMDB credits include a TJ Miller special (ugh) and other comedy specials by standup fellows I do not know, this movie felt like a rehash of every other buddy comedy starring middle-aged men acting like buffoons. I know it's based on a Washington Post story, I know Annabelle Wallis's character was "real," but come on, the plot is so thin you couldn't hang your laundry on its line. A bunch of guys have an ongoing game of tag that's continued into adulthood. <<SPOILER>> There's one of them who has a deeper reason for wanting this year to be the year that they finally get Jerry Pierce (Jeremy Renner), who, in all their years of playing, yawn, has never been tagged. That's it, that's the plot of the entire movie . There are no "stakes" (except the "emotional" journey of Ed Helms's character Hoagie, but that's so manipulative and ...

Worth A Thousand Words

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